Finally, two days ago I got that love is the meaning of life, the driver of our life purpose, the key to happiness and the cause of success and satisfaction.
For nearly 3 years, I had heard over and over again that love is all-important; however, the information couldn’t turn into knowledge and permeate every part of me. But two days ago, it finally did. So how did that happen?
If you have been following me, you know that I am staying at my parents’ house and not holding any employment. So two days ago, I think that triggered by her need to have some money for her trip to China, mom suggested that I should start sending my resume to some employers and gradually start looking for a job. But the moment she uttered those words, the monster in me instantly rose up and snapped at her with resentment.
Until then I had totally forgotten what the monster in me felt like as it hadn’t awakened in a long time and I had forgotten about its existence. So apparently, the monster was still there. My heart shaken by its rage, I couldn’t calm down for some time and towards the evening, the same dark and empty feeling that I used to constantly have before I supposedly left Mongolia for good engulfed my heart.
Even though raging and sad, this time I was conscious of what was happening inside me. I stayed with the dark and empty feeling and felt how this feeling makes life totally meaningless and worthless. Then I held an intention to live a meaningful life no matter what and mentally repeated the affirmation “My life is meaningful” over and over again. Then upon coming home, not wishing to keep any ill-feeling between us, I told my mom the good news of the day and totally disconnected from what happened in the morning.
Then sitting in my room by myself and creating a new accessory, I started playing Youtube videos as usual, and when I listened to below wisdom of Neale Donald Walsh, suddenly the secret of love revealed itself to me and washed over me.
Just like Neale Donald Walsh, I kept achieving my goals and dreams one after another, but I couldn’t find lasting happiness and success. Also just like him, I did everything that my parents and the society told me to be important. But I kept being unhappy and unfulfilled. So prior to intending and affirming to live a meaningful life, I had had a few moments of really not knowing what works in life if my best efforts kept failing.
By the way, when I listened to above video two days ago, it wasn’t the first time I had ever listened to it or “The Conversation with God” books of Donald Wasch, out of which the content of the above video comes from, but it was the first time I really GOT the message.
To extract the best lines of the video:
- Your life is not about you. Your life is about everyone else whose life you touch and the way in which you touch it.
- If you are doing those things to enrich the lives of everyone whose life you touch, watch the world fall in on you with wonder, joy and celebration. But if you are doing those things to gather, get, have more and get as much as you can for yourself, if that is your prime motivation, you are gonna be struggling everyday for the rest of your life.
- So when I say that your life is about everyone else whose life you touch, I am really saying that your life is about YOU, but big YOU, universal you, not small you with puny little wants and desires.
And when this shift happened to me, I realized that only now I climbed up to the 400 level on my favorite consciousness scale below.
So now I see that focused on myself only to a large degree, no wonder I kept struggling with security issue. Now I see that the foundation that kept missing underneath me is Love.
Since the shift happened, I notice that when I do things, the motivation is increasingly out of love, rather than personal gain. And I feel not afraid to give, so that feels freeing. Also I have an inner knowing that as long as I do good for others, I will be taken care of anyway. Also my needs seem to be vanishing and instead an authentic desire to care for others is taking its place. And as my personal needs and desires disappear, the focus is getting off of me and directed at everyone and everything else. As I focus on everyone and everything else, I feel more present, I am enjoying the experience more and negative thoughts are not plaguing me. And most importantly, my heart feels full, full of good feelings, and also it feels light and bright. In short, all these good states of being just happens to be the side effect of living with love as the prime motivator.
Lastly, because many people emphasize the importance of doing things for the right reasons, I have always wondered what those right reasons are, but hadn’t figured out. But now I know it and the right reason is doing anything out of love.